What if someone really hopes and wishes for believing in something or someone, and after the first disappointment it turns into a self – fulfilling prophecy of all the later bigger disappointments. Or if we are able to lose hope did we ever have it in the first place. Rapidly becoming more aware of ourselves and our behavioural patterns, sometimes I think because we know ourselves to get easily let down by others, so easily hurt, and that’s why we have lost the concept of the optimal levels of faith. Both in others and in ourselves. When someone lets us down the first time, the fight or flight responses, are they still as relevant as they are evolutionarily? After how many let downs does it accumulate so much that we stop having faith in each other?

It seems to me that one big let down is the down fall of this ratio, where it becomes totally unpredictable, for a big let down only means there were big hopes. Maybe not for the future, but for a feeling that we feel for the first time, the excitement of experiencing something we can question it’s rarity. If it’s happened once, it is likely that it shall again, right? The hope for another such experience, fuels the search for the feeling again. Oddly enough, because we have now found something so valuable, we might be tempted to keep searching, improving the feelings. Life and its Beauty countlessly multiplied, colours brighter in harmony, and gratitude every day. We know from the beginning what is attracting us towards this thing, and choosing to believe that it’s not just a coincidence is the ultimate sign.

Until, one day, you realise the biggest hopes you ever had, independently of another, are just habits of the same another. They don’t do those things because they want to complete ou with what you are missing, but because of a random moment in time that they did it most probably to someone else and they saw it was appreciated and by some lethal luck it makes us whole for the shortest time possible to not call it cruel.

Does it make it less valuable to call it a coincidence? “Oh at least you put yourself out there and learned something new about yourself” Honestly, for those of us who are lucky enough to learn about themselves through multiple resources, questioning their beliefs about life and emotions about relationships, this is not a consolation at all. In fact, it sounds rather unfair to reduce such significance into a ‘lesson learnt’. I am in fact all for taking away lessons from everything, every possible scenario of the past and the future. But I now believe sometimes things happen for us just to learn to ask the right questions, broader perspectives: Not “I learned that I need to be more careful with people who by accident make me feel understood”, more so “What does it mean to give up very fast?”